Not jivin' with the java

 

I'm taking Hebrew this summer and not getting quite as much sleep as I need, so after class today my friend, Doug, and my professor, Dr. Heskett, convinced me to join them for a cup of coffee. I was exhausted, needing caffeine, and in a weakened state, so I gave in. Getting coffee might seem like something routine for grad students to do, but it was big deal for me. I have sworn since college that I would never start drinking coffee. (I think it’s the whole dilemma that you can’t put ice cubes in coffee… and the yellow teeth thing that has turned me off.) Today I broke my vow and gave it a "shot." This pic above is of my first sip of coffee ever in my entire life...and my last. It was ghastly. Even worse than I thought it would be. “They” said it was supposed to taste "heavenly," it was a "latte," with one shot of espresso and 6 shots of vanilla. But I couldn't handle it. I gave it 4 more sips, a valiant effort, but then retired my mug.

People tell me it’s an acquired taste, but that has never made sense to me. Why would I want to drink something that tastes like vanilla flavored burnt water until I acquire a taste for it? To me, that’s the same as giving myself Indian sunburns until I like how it feels when my arm hair gets all knotted up. No thanks Kimosabe. I tried, but I'm going to stick to crunching ice and drinks that don't burn my tongue. In the words of song writer Derek Webb, “I just don’t want coffee tonight.”