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Monday, February 09, 2009

The Greatest Rivalry

This Wednesday night is the ever anticipated Carolina v. Dook game, at Dook. It will be amazing to watch HansBro go 4-0 in his career in Cameron. In honor of the game, I thought I'd post this article below:

Ten Reasons We All Hate Dook by Chris Domschke


10. The Name Blue Devils: Not because of the fact that it is anti-religious, but because they are named after a the French fighting battalion "les Diables Bleus," and no one likes the French.This actually proves my point that the hatred of Duke has nothing to do with their success, because the French Army always loses. Go ahead, type "French Military Victories" into the Google search and click "I'm feeling lucky." It comes up with this page and the "Did you mean: French military defeats?" We don't hate Duke because they win, we hate them because they are named after the French Military.

9. Coach Krzyzewski: For so many reasons. First of all he looks like a rat, and having to watch him pace the sidelines and whine, bitch, and moan while just thinking he's looking for cheese or picturing his head stuck in a mouse-trap. Also look at his last name, now I don't see how his name is Chi-Chef-ski. His name is Kriz-iz-ooski, doesn't that make more sense. Hey I have a tough last name (Domschke) but when you break it down it sounds like it's spelled Dom-Sch-ke, it's not Tra-lada-daski. Why should the world form to how you want your name pronounced?

8. Dick Vitale: Not Dick Vitale as a person, because, though he can be a little abrasive at times, he's good at his job. Except when he's doing Duke games, and he always seems like he's doing Duke games. It's one thing to have a gently hidden bias when doing commentary. I can only imagine how hard it would be to do an Arizona game and not be at the very least slightly biased, but then again, I'm not a professional and people don't have to listen to me. Vitale not only is slightly biased he is a half step away from cheering for Duke on the telecast, and not quietly but more like that one friend who won't shut up during a game, rooting for Duke. I half expect him to have blue face paint in the booth.

7. The Cameron Crazies: I am all about rooting for your team, I'm the guy who refuses to sit down, and although I'm not personally a fan of the jumping, I'm all for spirit. With that said, the Cameron Crazies are ridiculous. As in this SI Article from a couple years ago: "Taunts such as 'Safety school!' (toward Wake Forest) and 'We're smart! You're dumb!' (at UNC) that play off Duke's academic standards continue to anger not only opponents but also many among the 4,000-plus students who don't attend games." The condemnation is completely obnoxious. We don't hate you because you're smarter, we hate you because you think you're smarter than you are. Especially since their "Cheer Sheets" were inflitrated by a UNC fan.

6. Cameron Crazies Cheer Sheets: Even worse than just their holier than thou attitude are their obnoxious cheers. According to one cheer sheet, "DON’T hesitate to uphold the tradition of the Cameron Crazies. There’s a reason people all over this fine country hate us, and it’s because we’re clever, ruthless, and persistent fans. Let’s make that especially true this year. Yell loud and stay loud." Clever and pre-printed mass produced cheer sheets seem like complete opposites to me. Their entire game plan is figured out on the sheets, they have to be told when and what to cheer, it's just sad.

5. Calls: They get all the calls for whatever reason the refs are afraid to call anything against Duke. Count how many steps McRoberts takes here.I think I got nine or 10.There is plenty of other no call travels. Also, watch their guards on defense they get into position of the ball-handler, good defensive stance, legs shoulder width apart and then give them their best Tim Tebow impression and shove their arm into the guys back. Last time I checked hand checking was illegal, but that's a staple of their defense. Were they grandfathered in or something when they added the rule?

4. Flops: To go along with the calls, and as I'm sure you all know the flops. I could post videos of their flops, but I don't think blogger has the space available to host them all. Just search for Greg Paulus on youtube or google, all you get is video and pictures of him flopping.It's nothing new, they've been doing it for years, and all I can picture is Coach K with a piece of cheese imitating the great Gordon Bombay telling them to take the fall and act hurt.

3. Media: Duke is shoved down our throats whether die-hard or casual observers of the game from October through April. There is a media bias the likes of which have never been seen before, for some reason everyone, with a microphone, loves Duke. It's not just Vitale.Just over a week ago Duke was "flying under the radar." If you are ranked No. 3, how exactly can you be flying under the radar? Did I mention their next nine games are all televised? Right, silently under the radar, no one will even see them.

2. The Cheap Plays: Beyond just the dives and flops and no calls, Duke is cheap, and always have been. Skip forward to about 26 second of this clip for the best angle. That was during the '06-'07 season. Yeah, he was definitely going after the ball.
It wouldn't be, say because Coach K tells them to try to injure the other team's top player?

1. The Number One Reason: Former Duke player, current NBA Star Elton Brand, said it best: "Thank you very much, for reminding me of the reason why I left Duke. People like you cannot and will not ever understand my situation. I'm sure Daddy worked very hard to send your rich self to college. While real people struggle. I would also like to extend an invitation for you not to waste your or my time ever again. Never being considered a part of your posh group of yuppies really hurts me to the heart. Yeah Right because I don't care about you or your alumni."

1 comment:

Matthew Smith said...

I'm glad you'll have this list to cling to for comfort when Duke brings the hurt down on UNC Wednesday night.